“My fanny's going funny just thinking about it.”— Lisa McGee, Michelle Mallon, Jamie Lee O'Donnell, imdb.com
“What do you say to a drunk who walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck? You can stay. Just don’t try to start anything.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“What’s the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“Money doesn’t grow on trees, right? So why does every bank have so many branches?”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke. Thank goodness it was a soft drink.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“What’s the tallest building in the world? The library, cause it has the most stories.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? One says, 'Spit out your gum' and the other says, 'Choo choo choo.'”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police better be on the lookout for two hardened criminals.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“What did the janitor yell after he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!””— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“What do you call someone wearing a belt with a watch attached to it? A waist of time.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“Did you hear about the guy who broke both his left arm and left leg? He’s all right now.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com