“My girlfriend said "Can you compliment me for once?" She's rather overweight so I said "Don't be sad when people call you fat, you're bigger than that."”— Dillz97, reddit.com
“My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy, so I got drunk.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“My girlfriend accused me of cheating on her.. I told her that she was starting to sound like my wife...”— 420-Neal-It, reddit.com
“My girlfriend said she'd dump me if I didn't eat everything from her bin. I've had enough of her rubbish.”— TommehBoi, reddit.com
“My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy. So I got drunk.”— ohRyZze, reddit.com
“My girlfriend told me I care more about my programming job than about her. I told her she's the #1 thing I care about.”— rodrick160, reddit.com
“My girlfriend's dad is so religious, he won't let us sleep together... Which is a shame, because he's a really attractive man.”— madazzahatter, reddit.com
“My girlfriend is like the square root of negative 100... A solid 10; but imaginary”— Abraxyn, reddit.com
“My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being too good in bed... After 2 minutes, all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.”— HairyBaIIs007, reddit.com
“My girlfriend got a very cool tattoo on her back. Finally something attractive to look at while having sex.”— officialkapster, reddit.com
“How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? She fits into your wife's clothes.”— w3rt, reddit.com
“My girlfriend accused of cheating the other day... I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.”— RazBruh, reddit.com
“My girlfriend told me I'm bad in bed. I told her she should learn to enjoy the little things in life.”— CamTheMan1994, reddit.com
“My anxiety makes me feel like a shitty girlfriend — even though my boyfriend keeps reminding me that it’s not the case. That he’s lucky to have me. That he wants to be with me forever, whether I’m suffering from anxiety or not.”— Holly Riordan, thoughtcatalog.com
“One thing I know: For helping me forget how awful the world is, I prefer her to alcohol.”— Veronica Roth, amazon.com
“If he’s totally weird about calling you his girlfriend, even after months of nonstop dates, chances are that he’s seeing other people, too — and doesn’t want to stop seeing them. Drop him for a man who will happily call you his girlfriend (they’re out there, we swear!)”— Ashley McDonald, hercampus.com
“He's never once called you his girlfriend though it's been months since you met and you've been seeing each other on and off. You ask him why; he avoids the question. He's so good at avoiding the question, in fact, that you've given up asking.”— Lorna Poole, yourtango.com