Sometimes I think 'I need to think before I speak' and then other times I think 'I shouldn't leave the house or interact with people ever.'
Catalog
Quotes tagged ‘humor’
Is there a filter on Instagram that fixes Bitchy Resting Face? Asking for a friend.
That bottle of wine that you have in case of a 'special occasion' and how 7pm starts to feel real 'special' when you got no other booze
I'm so humble it's crazy. I'm like the Kanye West of humility.
Yes of course I got your text - I'm just ignoring it. Don't make it weird.
I like my men like I like my coffee. Silent.
Hi, I'm Anna, I'm alone tonight and I'm looking for a strapping muscular man to come over because butternut squash is hard to dice.
Just spotted a Pop-Tart wrapper under my bed. That seems about right. #GrownWoman
Never a diva. But occasionally a real dick.
Tipsy and on a plane is my best self.
In movies, when the super villain tells his origin story I honestly get worried because I relate so hard.
All movie BFFs: Girl, you need to get laid!Do I need a friend who tells me to get laid? Do I need to get laid?? I have no way of knowing!!
Oh God. I just realized I'm stuck with me my whole life.
I can name a lot of things that taste better than skinny feels. Potatoes. Bread.
I would just rather have somebody that has the same taste in reality TV and, you know, isn't afraid to fart in front of me than to have big, passionate love. I'd rather have just a peaceful time.
I am playing a ballerina in my next movie, so my first step is not drinking alcohol for every meal of the day. Obviously I’m still drinking every day.
Maybe one day, I'll turn into an asshole. But there are too many out there already.
You try being 22, having a period and staying away from Google.
I'm just a girl, sitting in front of the world and asking them to forgive her for speaking.
I spilled milk this morning. Last night I spilled red wine all over the rug. All I want to be able to do is just walk from one place to another without falling.