“If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“Dear alcohol: We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer...I saw the video...we need to talk.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Thanks for helping me understand that.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“I hope when he dies he does become a tree. I hope he's in the middle of the wilderness and he's doing his tree thing. Whatever it is trees do. I know they do alot of work with breezes. And wouldn't it be fantastic if while he was out there just enjoying his treeness. Through the woods a huge, sweaty…”— Dane Cook, genius.com
“Thanks for the potatoes. Would have thought you’d stuck a piece of butter in each one. They were very nice potatoes.”— Groucho Marx, amazon.com
“Despite his obvious deficiencies, I can truly say that his entire organization (to say nothing of me) loves him with the same fervor that is usually reserved for men like Stalin, Hitler and Torquemada.”— Groucho Marx, amazon.com