Quotes tagged ‘Puns’

(454 total)

“What’s the absolute best Christmas present? A broken drum—you can’t beat it!”

“Why do mummies like Christmas so much? They’re into all the wrapping.”

“What’s Santa’s favorite snack food? Crisp Pringles.”

“What do you call a blind reindeer? I have no eye deer.”

“What do you get when you cross a duck with Santa? A Christmas quacker.”

“How do you help someone who’s lost their Christmas spirit? Nurse them back to elf.”

“What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.”

“What do you call a broke Santa Claus? Saint-nickel-less.”

“What’s the definition of a good farmer? A man outstanding in his field.”

“What do birds give out on Halloween? Tweets.”

“Where do young cows eat lunch? In the calf-ateria.”

“What did the fireman name his twin sons? José and Hose-B.”

“What do you do if you see a spaceman? Park your car, man.”

“Why is it so windy inside a sports arena? All those fans.”

“What do snowmen call their fancy annual dance? The Snowball.”

“What’s Irish and stays out all night long? Patty O’Furniture.”

“Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Cause he was feeling crummy.”

“What do geese take for their allergies? Anti-hissssss-tamines.”

“Why do hippies like camping? Cause it’s in tents, man.”

“Why did the mushroom like to party so much? Because he was a fun-guy.”