What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look! I’m about to change.
Catalog
Quotes tagged ‘Puns’
I jumped into the sea today. My friends pier-pressured me into it.
What’s the worst thing about ancient history class? The teachers tend to Babylon.
What did the buffalo say to his son as he left for college? Bison.
What did the buffalo say to his son as he left for college? Bison.
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
What’s the best thing about elevator jokes? They work on so many levels.
If you want a job in the moisturizer industry, the best advice I can give is to apply daily.
Why doesn’t God ever answer your emails? He’s more into knee-mail.
What does God call his nose? God knows.
PMS jokes are funny. Period.
What’s the difference between a knife and an argumentative man? A knife has a point.
How are men like parking spaces? All the good ones are taken, and the ones left over are disabled.
What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife.
What’s the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
Why didn’t the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.
If April showers bring May flowers, what comes next in June? Pilgrims.
What did the janitor yell after he jumped out of the closet? ‘Supplies!’
A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke. Thank goodness it was a soft drink.