“How do you impress a baker when you’re taking his daughter on a date? Bring her flours.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“What do you call the sound a dog makes when it’s choking on a piece of its owner’s jewelry? A diamond in the ruff.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“What did Lil Jon do when the hardware store employee tried to sell him a lightbulb? Turned down 4 Watt.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“What do you call the heavy breathing someone makes while trying to hold their downward facing dog pose? Yoga pants.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“Fill out job applications in crayon and if you don’t get hired just blame it on your color.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“What do auditioning for an acting role and playing sports have in common? If you break a leg, you get cast.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“Did the disappointed smoker get everything he wanted for Christmas? Clothes but no cigar.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“The time traveler was still hungry after his last bite, so he went back four seconds.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“People are willing to pose nude for artists they don’t even know – color me cautious, I think it seems sketchy.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“Prostitute 1: What should we do tonight? Horror movies? Prostitute 2: I say movies.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“Any pants can be considered high-wasted if the person wearing them drinks and smokes enough.”— Unknown, tcat.tc