Quotes tagged ‘Puns’

(454 total)

“When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.”

“Just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.”

“PMS should just be called ovary-acting.”

“Atheism is a non-prophet organization.”

“What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowntain.”

“Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out, man!”

“Why can't a bike stand on its own? It’s two-tired.”

“What's the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.”

“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like banana.”

“Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks, ‘How do you drive this thing?’”

“What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.”

“Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a well-known six offender.”

“What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.”

“Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines everywhere!”

“Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle.”

“What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyoncé.”

“My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he's only got his shelf to blame.”

“Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the ‘P’ is silent.”

“What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.”

“How does NASA organize their company parties? They planet.”