“How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? She fits into your wife's clothes.”— w3rt, reddit.com
“A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this bi…”— suportblog1, reddit.com
“After getting the windows on my car tinted black, I showed it to my wife. She said, "I wouldn't be seen dead in that thing!" I said, "That's the point.”— TommehBoi, reddit.com
“When I was your age I knew nothing about the world or my place in it. I figured I'd be someone's wife, then someone's mother. It never occurred to me to be someone myself.”— Wendy Mass, amazon.com
“I can’t do this, I can’t just be a wife. I don’t understand how anyone does it—there is literally nothing to do but wait. Wait for a man to come home and love you. Either that or look around for something to distract you.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.com
“My first wife was like the rash you get from poison ivy. I couldn't stand her, but I couldn't keep my hands off her. She was an itch I scratched until I bled.”— Joe Hill, amazon.com
“The word wife comes from the Proto-Indo-European weip. Weip means to turn, twist, or wrap. In an alternative etymology, the word wife comes from Proto-etc., ghwibh. Ghwibh means pudenda. Or shame.”— Lauren Groff, amazon.com