Latest Quotes

“I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.”

— Dean Martin, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Breaking Bad Habits

“One martini is just right, two is too many, three is not enough.”

— James Thurber, One Man's Paradise

“We drank our coffee the Russian way. That is to say we had vodka before it and vodka afterwards.”

— Philip Sington, The Valley of Unknowing

“Nothing ever tasted better than a cold beer on a beautiful afternoon with nothing to look forward to than more of the same.”

— Hugh Hood, The Beer Devotional: A Daily Celebration of the World's Most Inspiring Beers

“Stay with the beer. Beer is continuous blood, a continuous lover.”

— Charles Bukowski, Love is a Dog From Hell

“There is no such thing as a bad beer. It’s that some taste better than others.”

— Bill Carter, 365 Days of Beer 2017 Daily Calendar

“In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant Irish people.”

— Tina Fey, The Beer Devotional: A Daily Celebration of the World's Most Inspiring Beers

“Beer, if drunk in moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit and promotes health.”

— Thomas Jefferson, True Beer: Inside the Small, Neighborhood Nanobreweries Changing the World

“Singleness is just a state of being, like what color shirt you are wearing, or what hair style you are currently sporting. It isn’t inherently good or bad, it is totally value neutral!”

— Jacob Geers, Read This If Being The One Single Friend Is Getting Really F*cking Old

“What is civilization if it isn’t people talking to each other over a goddamned beer?”

— James S.A. Corey, Cibola Burn

“Religion is a non-alcoholic man's alcohol. Alcohol is a non-religious man's religion.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana, Divided & Conquered

“Even back in high school, when my other friends would have some significant other to hold hands with on their way to AP European History, I was holding hands with my textbooks or a giant bag of cookies I smuggled out of the cafeteria.”

— Jacob Geers, Read This If Being The One Single Friend Is Getting Really F*cking Old

“Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol.”

— N.F. Simpson, Blind Terror

“Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully.”

— Graham Greene, Subconscious Demons and Conscious Delights

“Why don’t you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?”

— Barnaby Conrad, The Martini: An Illustrated History of an American Classic

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”

— Dave Barry, The Greatest Invention in the History of Mankind Is Beer

“You’re single because you haven’t met someone who makes the alternative seem like the better option. Some might toss words your way like ‘picky’ or ‘selective’, but why should that be a bad thing?”

— Ari Eastman, Ari Eastman, Here’s What You Can Tell The Next Person Who Asks, ‘Why Are You Single?’

“Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.”

— Catherine Zandonella, Bluebirds vs Jacks & Jacks vs Bluebirds

“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?”

— Steven Wright, The Beer Devotional: A Daily Celebration of the World's Most Inspiring Beers

“I will never, ever drink whiskey again. From now on, it's strictly sherry.”

— Libba Bray, A Great and Terrible Beauty