“Mark Taylor: I have a woman—Mommy. Randy Taylor: Your mommy can't be your woman, doofus. Tim Taylor: A lot of men pay a psychiatrist a lot of money to figure that one out.”Tagged: Mommy Issues
“Tim: If I ever said it was hard living with you, just say one word, 'Al'. Jill: It's that bad, huh? Tim: His mother recorded his whole life on video tape. Last night it was three hours of Muskie Fishing With Uncle Phil. Did you know that in the seventh grade he built a replica of the Washington…”Tagged: washington Monument
“Tim: I go to the opera with you. Jill: Oh, once. I've sat through three Rambo movies. When was the last time you took me to a foreign film? Tim: Didn't we just see Le Robocop?”Tagged: french, rambo, robocop, Opera
“Jill: Why are you so fascinated with fighting? I don't want anybody to beat anybody up. What is wrong with you people? You make me sick. I just want you to love each other, you big bunch of jerks. Tim: [to Brad and Randy] Er, you satisfied? You know she was talking to you two.”Tagged: Fighting, Jerks