“Josh: [walking away from Susan] I think we handled that very maturely. Drake Parker: That felt good. [Susan opens her locker and gets blasted with purple paint] Drake: [sees Susan covered in paint; turns to Josh] That felt better. Josh: Yeah, it did!”
“Josh: [dangling from the roof] I deserve this. This is all because I forgot to feed my pet turtle, Sheldon in kindergarten. He went to heaven, and now my life is bad. [shouts] Josh: You happy, Sheldon? We're even now! Mr. Nichols: [offscreen] Josh? Josh: Sheldon?”
“Josh: Do you sell guitars? Guitar World Salesman: [sarcastically] Here? At Guitar World? Gee, I don't know.”
“Mr. Nichols: [needing a last minute birthday gift for Audrey] Uh, get her some toothpaste. She's always using toothpaste! Josh Nichols: Dad, there's two-hundred dollars here. Mr. Nichols: Well, get her some mouthwash, too! I'M JUST A MAN!”
“Josh: I don't know Drake, all this cheating makes me feel... dirty. Drake: Well, take a bath when you get home.”
“Josh: Drake, we're supposed to be studying for our driving test! Drake: [playing a driving video game] I am! Josh: Drake, I highly doubt that our driven test will include stealing a bus and running into dragons. Drake: Do you know that for sure?”
“Drake: You're kind of a girl, right? Mindy: Well, if I'm not, then I've been buying the wrong underwear!”