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George Maestri

16 quotesWriter · Male

George Maestri is the President and Creative Director of the Los Angeles animation studio Rubber Bug, a writer, an animation producer for South Park, and a story writer for the animated television series Rocko's Modern Life.Maestri was nominated for a CableACE Award for his Rocko's Modern Life writing.Maestri has written a number of books on character animation and digital effects. He is also a contributing editor of Computer Graphics World magazin

From “Hair Licked / Gutter Balls”

Ed Bighead: [to Rocko and Filburt] Now, let's get you boys some shoes, hmm. Ed Bighead: [to Ferb] Ferb, some shoes for the opposing team. Ferb: Are they a real team? Ed Bighead: They got shirts, don't they!

Ed Bighead: Rocko, what're you doing? Rocko: [With a paddle in his hand] We're playing spank the monkey.

From “No Pain, No Gain / Who Gives a Buck”

Waitress: Will there be anything else, sir? Heffer Wolfe: [referring to a pair of chopsticks] Yeah, these plastic things can't cut my burrito.

From “Leap Frogs / Bedfellows”

Ed Bighead: [looking through binoculars] Bev, I can't believe it! Do you know what that weirdo next door is up to? Bev Bighead: Oh, shut up and mind your own business, Ed. Ed Bighead: But, Bev, they're, well... uh... nude! Bev Bighead: [looks through Ed's binoculars] Oh, Ed, oh, you're right! Oh,…

From “A Sucker for the Suck-O-Matic / Canned”

Rocko, Heffer Wolfe: [reading from the manual] How to Turn Off Your Suck-O-Matic. [the Suck-O-Matic sucks some pages from the manual] Rocko, Heffer Wolfe: [reading] In case Suck-O-Matic sucks instructions, see page 101. [the Suck-O-Matic sucks some more pages from the manual] Rocko, Heffer Wolfe:…

From “The Lounge Singer / She's the Toad”

Rocko: I know the secret for getting rid of stage fright! Filburt Shellbach: You do? Tell me, tell me! Rocko: Just picture the audience... naked! [Rocko pushes Filburt on stage, but Filburt freezes up and goes back] Filburt Shellbach: I can't do it. It's way too disgusting. [Rocko pokes his head out…

From “Hut Sut Raw / Kiss Me, I'm Foreign”

[Filburt runs into Dr. Hutchison working at a pharmacy] Filburt Turtle: Hey, I thought you were a surgeon. Dr. Paula Hutchison: I was, but I just couldn't cut it.

From “Snowballs / Frog's Best Friend”

Heffer Wolfe: Hey, Crod, you wanna get some ice cream? Crod: [a caveman frozen in ice] Crod don't like ice cream. Heffer Wolfe: Oh, I knew you were a burger man.

From “Bye, Bye Birdie / Belch of Destiny”

Heffer Wolfe: Hey, Rock, you wanna move to France? Rocko: Not really. Heffer Wolfe: Naw. Me neither.

From “The Emperor's New Joe / Schnit-heads”

Cult Leader: We're bowling for sinners today! Rocko: You can't chuck bowling balls at us. Cult Leader: Yes, we can. Says so right here in the Book of Bratwurst. "If there be one among you who does not follow the way of the schnitzel, let that one go and do not throw bowling balls at him." Rocko:…

From “An Elk for Heffer / Scrubbin' Down Under”

Elkie: [whispers to Heffer] Your family are wolves? Heffer Wolfe: Oh, I was adopted. Elkie: [whispering] I didn't realize. Heffer Wolfe: So, would you like to see some embarrassing pictures of me as a child? Elkie: Sure. [They leave the room] George Wolfe: [whispering] VIRGINIA, SHE'S STILL ALIVE.…

From “With Friends Like These / Sailing the Seven Zzz's”

Filburt: Uh, guys? Rocko, Heffer Wolfe: You're nauseous. Filburt: Right. [vomits off-screen]

From “Ed Good, Rocko Bad / Teed Off”

Alien: [looking at Heffer's fake crop circles] Who keeps writing this stuff?

From “S.W.A.K. / Magic Meatball”

Ed Bighead: Hello, my name is Ed Bighead, and I have a meatball problem.

From “The High Five of Doom / Fly Burgers”

Heffer Wolfe: [comes bursting into Rocko's house] Rocko! Do you still have Filburt's diary? Rocko: [hides the diary behind his back] No! I mean, yes. But I wasn't reading it. If that's what you mean. Heffer Wolfe: I just gotta see it! It's all I think about! I can't sleep, I can't think! I can't…

Rocko: [referring to Filburt's diary] Look, Heff, if I let you see one page, then will you be satisfied? Heffer Wolfe: Yes. I'll be satisfied. Heffer Wolfe: [Heffer starts reading aloud] 'The Earth Log of Filburt Shellbach. I am an alien. For our evil plan to take over this puny planet, see next…

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