“I always wanted a daughter. My kids are not daughters, they're terrible. I'll tell you about it later - or now.”Tagged: Daughter, kids, terrible
“Darryl is so damned disorganized. Some of the papers in here are so old. Oh, good news, I found a coupon from Blockbuster. The Color Purple is now available on laserdisc.”Tagged: Blockbuster, Disorganized, Old, Coupon
“I'm making pies for people that I hate, which is mixed emotions for me because I like pie.”Tagged: Pie, Hate, Mixed Emotions
“Uhhh, I hate her. She's worse than all the Kardashians combined. Except for Caitlyn, who's a national hero.”Tagged: Hate, Hero, Family, Famous
“My marriage is like The Walking Dead. Okay, we are all just trying to get out alive.”Tagged: Marriage, alive, dead, Walking Dead
“Well, what happened was she was working hard at a New York job making dough but it made her blue. One day she was crying a lot, and so she decided to move to West Covina, California. Brand new pals, new career. It happens to be where Josh lives and that's exactly why she's here.”Tagged: Theme, moving, Life Story, Life
“It's what my father always told me, that if I ever tried to make something of myself, that no man would want me and so, I mean, just like the minute that I try to pursue my dreams, my husband 'accidentally' falls into another woman's vagina!”Tagged: Dreams, Cheating, Sex, Marriage
“Oh, he's a terrible person! He is a terrible, terrible... dreamboat. Like, it's weird how good looking he is. Right? It's like he's chiseled out of evil marble.”Tagged: terrible, Weird, Evil, Good Looking, Attractive