Quote
Catalog

Rob Delaney

20 quotesBaseball Player · Born Jan 19, 1977 · United States Of America · Male

Rob Delaney (born January 19, 1977) is an American comedian, actor, and writer, widely known as the co-star and co-writer of the TV show Catastrophe. 2Early life Delaney was raised in Marblehead, Massachusetts. He attended New York University's Tisch School of the Arts and graduated with a degree in musical theater in 1999. 2Career 3Twitter Delaney first came to the attention of the public via Twitter, on which he started posting in 2009. By 2016, Delaney had over 1.2 million followers. While other comics were hesitant to share their material on social media, Delaney is considered one of the first comedians to use social media to publish jokes. Delaney credits comedy writer and director Graham Linehan with his rise in popularity after Linehan began responding to Delaney's tweets. In 2010, Paste magazine named Delaney one of the ten funniest people on Twitter. In May 2012, he became the first comedian to win the 'Funniest Person on Twitter Award' at The Comedy Awards hosted by Comedy Central. 3Writing Delaney has written several articles for Vice as well as The Guardia

All Sex (4)Cheating (4)Love (3)Diss (3)mean (2)Grief (2)Effort (2)Time (2)Sad (2)Squid (2)Advice (2)Pain (2)Suicide (2)Reasons (2)enjoy (2)

From “Episode 1”

I'm gonna look back on my time with you and remember you as an extraordinarily good smelling woman with a magical ass, and you're smart, so you can even get away with being less attractive, and you'd still be fairly attractive.

Reflect Extraordinary Love romance Attractive

Answer my cry for help.

help cry

You wish you were a fugitive. You were arrested so you're a criminal. Criminal in a neck brace. What a fucking catch.

Fugative Arrested criminal

From “Episode 2”

Your situation sounds fucking awful, I'd love to hear more about it.

situation Awful talking Gossip

From “Episode 3”

I very fancy you.

Love fancy enjoy

I very fancy you.

Love fancy enjoy

From “Episode 4”

You don't have a monopoly on pain. Look around.

Pain Monopoly Called Out

You don't have a monopoly on pain. Look around.

Pain Monopoly Called Out

If you think I'm going to put time, money and effort into maybe getting into some woman's pants, you're crazy.

Time Money Sex Effort crazy

If you think I'm going to put time, money and effort into maybe getting into some woman's pants, you're crazy.

Time Money Sex Effort crazy

If I ever do cheat on you, it's going to be a cash transaction with a guaranteed ejaculation, after which she immediately leaves so I can ponder suicide because of how guilty I feel.

Cheating Cash ejaculation ponder Suicide

If I ever do cheat on you, it's going to be a cash transaction with a guaranteed ejaculation, after which she immediately leaves so I can ponder suicide because of how guilty I feel.

Cheating Cash ejaculation ponder Suicide

Why haven't I cheated on you? Because... Loads of reasons. I mean, the biggest is you have been pregnant so much, so, not fucking some prostitute is the least I can do when you have been carting around our babies in your body.

Cheating Reasons pregnant Sex

Why haven't I cheated on you? Because... Loads of reasons. I mean, the biggest is you have been pregnant so much, so, not fucking some prostitute is the least I can do when you have been carting around our babies in your body.

Cheating Reasons pregnant Sex

From “Episode 5”

Rob Norris: If I thrust too deeply, will my penis latch onto the IUD coil thingy and pull it out? Sharon Morris: Yeah. No, it's fine. They put it more than two and a half inches inside me.

thrust penis IUD Diss Penis Size

From “Episode 6”

You exude black squid ink.

Squid Ink Diss mean

You exude black squid ink.

Squid Ink Diss mean

You know, there's no playbook on how to grieve.

Playbook Grief Sad Advice

You know, there's no playbook on how to grieve.

Playbook Grief Sad Advice

“So weird! He never does this!” - a person whose dog jumps on people all day, every day, as it jumps on you

Dogs Dog Owner H4D-50 Dog Lovers

WKM &WK W W M W WWW WKW W W W W W K&W WM &WK W W&W W WKW W WKW W W WKW WMW W W WWW W W WW WWW WW& MW &W W W W &W WW W W W W W W W WW W W W M W&MWMWKW W W W WK W W WKW W W W W WW &K WKW W W WKW W W WW MW MMW MWW W W W W W MW WW W W W W W W W WWW& W W W WK&&W WMW W W W WK WK WWM W W W K KWW KW W&& W & K W W W W WW W&W W W&W WM W&KMW MWW W&W WMKW&W WM W&W W W W WKW W&W WW W WKM WMW&W W WW W&W WKW W W WW&WW W& W W&W W&W KW W&W WMW W W W WWKW&W W WKW WWK W WWWKW W W W W W WW W&W W W W W W W W &WWW W M W W W W KW WW W W W W WW WWM&W WWWW W W W W W W W W&W K& KK K K K K KK & K K WWW W & & K K & W K M MWW MM K W W WM& WW WW WM MW W W W W WM WW &MW M W WW W W W WMM W&W KW WM WW &WWMW MWW W&W W W&W W WW WWW MMW W W W W&W W W WWW WMM WMWW W W W WW&W W W & WKWK& W & W&W MW WMW W W W MKW& W W WWKW WW WMWKW WWK W W W W WW &K W W W W W W W WW WW W K&W W W W W W W W W WM W W WW WKWWWW W&W WW W W&M M W W&K MM W W&M M MM MW W WW W MM WMM M M WW WW W&W W W&M WW WWW MM W KMW M M W M WW W WWKK & W W WMW WK K K K WW W& WW M W M WW M M& & K MM W WKWW WW W W W W W W WWW WW WW WW M W MMW KWM WMW WKW M M W& MM W WW WW WW WW MW W W W WWWWWWKM W W W W WWWW W W W W W WW W W MK MW W MW W WWKWKK W WKM W WK W W W W WW& W W WW W W WWWKWW WW WW&MWW WWW W &WW W W W W W&W && W &MW W W & KW WW WWW WWW WWW KWW W WWK W WMW W & WMW W W W M W WM MMW WWK WMK& WM W WW W W M & MW& KK W&WW K K W KW WK & WW & M & &WM K & W W & & WWW WMM WWW K K WW W W &K & W & M K& WWM WW WWM&W W WW&W M WWMWWK WKW W W W W W W&W W &W W&W W K W W W W W& WKW WW W W WM W&W KWW MKW W W W W W WM W WW WW MW W W&W W KWK WWW W WW WMW&& WWWWMWW W WM W W&M W&W W W W W&W W && W&W WMW WMW W WMW& W W W WKW KW WKW WWW WMW WWW W W W WM W WMWWKW W WWW W&W WWW WWWWWWW WWWW &WWW M M W W W W &WW WWW WWW W WWW&WWWWW WWMW W W W W &WK WKW W&W W WWM&WW W &KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KK&&MM&M&KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK&&&&&&&&&K

} } } } * * * * * * * * * * * * } * * * * } } } * } } * * } } * * } * * } } * * } } } } } } } * * * ** }} * * } * } } * * * * * } * * * * * * * * * } ** } } } * } } } * * * } } * * * * * } * * * } } } } * } * * } } } * * } * *} * * } * ** } } } * * } * * } * } * } * * } } } } } } } } } } } } } }} } } } * } } } } } } } } } } } * } * } } } } }* } } } } } } * } } } } * } } } *} } } } } } } } * } * *} *** }} }}}}}}}}}}

V U j jo o U j o VV o U U j U V j o j U V V o V j V o Uj V V V U j U o j o V VU V V j V o V o o o UV U U o oU U U oo U U j VU U ojo o j U j o j VV j V j o Vo j U j o U U Uo U j j U o j j j o j j U U V o U V U V V UVV U U jV Uj V V j V V o j o V V V oj o V o U U o V o o U V jU U o o j V V o j V j o o j V U Uo U o j j j V V V V o o j o oV j j j j oj V U U j U o j U j V j V U j U U U oo jV o oV j j j V o V Uj U U VooU V j U V U o V VU j jj jj U U o o j V V Vj oo o j jV o U j j o V jVj o j j j j o j V j oU o V j V oU jU V o j V j V j U V U U U o V o oo Uj Vo j UU j V U j j j j o VU V U V jj V o V U o j U jUjj VU j j V jUV o o o V UV V U U V U j o o V o V U j VU V j V j o o o U j U j V V U V V V o U V o V j V V U U V V j j j j V U U j j j V j U U j j j o U V U j V U V U j jj UV j j j jjjjjjjj jjjjjooooojjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjooooooooojooooooojojo UUUUUUUUUUU U

K M K & K M K & M & K & K K K K K K K K K M & K K WW &W K & M KKMW& K&MMWWK W MWWW W KMKWM K WWWWWK WWW & & KK& W WWWWWWWW& & WWWW K & WWWWWWWWWWW K WWWW &&&& & WWW W WWWWWWWWWWW KMWKWWWWWWKWM K K &M&&K&&K WWWW WWWWWWMMWWW WWMWWWWWWW W K K WWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWW WMWWWWWWWW&M &WK K K& KMWWWW W &WWWWWWWWWWWW &WWWW K WWWMK WWWWW WW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WW WWWM &WW&KMW WWWWW MW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW MWWM&K K KM KWWW WWWWWWWMWWWWWW KMWWWWWK &MWKK W M WM &W&WWMWWWWWWWWWWWMW KWWWWWWWM &KK K K &MM MWMWKKKK&WWW&&KK&&MW KWWWWWWWW MM K

. : , . : .: ,.: , ,.,. :. : , : .: . : : , , , : . ,: ,, : :,, . . ,:... . ., , :.: , , : : , : : , : : : , : , : , . : : , : , , , .: , : ,: :: :. .: .: :, : ,, , . , : . ,: : ., .,, . :,, , . .,::,,,,,,: ::,,.. .. ... : ::::::: :,:,. ::,:,,,,,,: ::,,,., : ::::::, .:,,,,,.. , . , :: ,.,,,,.. : , , .. :.,,,...,, : . , : :,. , .. :,,, . , :,: , : , :,. : . : . . . . . ::,, . :: ,. . ::,:: , . ::: , . : , , , .

} * * < } * * * } } < < * } < } ~ ~ ~ ~ < ~ }} }* *~}}* }} **< }}~ * } *}<<< ** } < * <~ ~ < ~ * < ~ < } } ~ ~~ < <~ * ~ <* * *<} <<< ~ } * } < * <** * < ~~} * * } <~<}~} < *} < < * < }* ~*}< <<~ ~ * < << ~} ~~ ~ }*} * ~<~~~}~< } < <~**~~*< }~~* } < *** *< ~ *} ~} * <* <*<}~<* }~* } *~ }} ~ * << < < }*}<<<<<<~<< ~* } < < ~ <} ~ * * ~ ~~ * ~}} ~ ***< < << ~ <~ <}< } } < }} }** * **~ } }*<*< } }**~} ~ } <* < } < } ~ << < }}}}* ~ ~< *~ * < ~ } < * < ** ~ < ~} ~ } }* ~~ ~* ~ } } < *}~ < } * } ~*}} *< * *< < <~ ~ }~ ~~~ ~ ~ ~< *~< } } < << * * < ~ }< } ~ ~~ } }< *< < ~ } } * }~*} }* < < ~ ~ ~} } * ~ }~ *}~* * ~~~ } * }} * } * }

Vjoj U o V oj j V V j jV Vo U j UUU jj j oUjV Uo jV V oojU o j V Vj U j VUo j U o j o o o V o j o j oj V j o j jj U V o V o j o j V UV U o oU j j j o j o jjj o j V o j U V oo o jj j o j o V ooVVo VoV VV Vjjo jj Uoj j U V o o o o oo j j VUo o o jU ojjjjjjj oU ojjoooooooVVVj j U j UUUUUVVVoo U VUUUUU V V UVVVVVVooo jUU UUUUUVojoj j VVVVVojojo jj Uo oV j jU U UUVV j Voo VV V o V V U VVVV U jjU oU joV o U oU V U oo j oo o o U UUoUVUVUU UVV jjoj o j j V jjo oUVoU o j j V o o U j j ooV U oVo o U o UUo UV o o UoUV V V j VV V UVUj oV U V j o V o VU U oUU o o U o o V UVV oV V U o j j j oVVUojj j

Related People