“You shut your got-dang mouth or I'll shove that Ditch Witch down your throat and dig a…”

“I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!”

“Maybe I should tie the long hair on your head to the short hair on your ass and kick you…”

“Bobby, I'm proud of what you did at school today....So I'm buyin' you a hooker! Go ahead…”