“Bobby, I'm proud of what you did at school today....So I'm buyin' you a hooker! Go ahead pick yourself out a live one.”
More from Alan Freedland
“You shut your got-dang mouth or I'll shove that Ditch Witch down your throat and dig a…”
“I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!”
“No coincidence. I like to hump, I like to eat, and I don't like to drive.”
“Maybe I should tie the long hair on your head to the short hair on your ass and kick you…”