Danny “Danno” Williams: Can I ask you a question? Why are you always driving my car? Steve McGarrett: I like to drive. Danny “Danno” Williams: No. Rainman liked to drive. You have control issues.

— Carol Barbee, Danny Williams, Scott Caan, imdb.com

Oh... and how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine-making course and I forgot how to drive?

— Greg Daniels, Homer Simpson, Dan Castellaneta, imdb.com

Mike Baxter: [after almost driving into a sinkhole] Oh, man! You good? It's all good. It's all good. Hold on a second. [puts car in reverse and pushes Boyd back into his seat] Get back in there. Sit back down. [after backing away from the sinkhole] Okay, listen, you sure you're all right? Boyd Baxte…

— Vince Calandra, Mike Baxter, Tim Allen, imdb.com

No coincidence. I like to hump, I like to eat, and I don't like to drive.

— Alan Freedland, Alan R. Cohen, Buck Strickland, Stephen Root, imdb.com

Willie: I was going down Fifth Street Road, and instead of taking a left I took a right... ALF: I thought you couldn't turn right down that road, it's a one-way street. Willie: ALF, what difference does it make to you? ALF: What difference does it make? HAH! I'm not driving with you anymore!

— Donald Todd, ALF (voice), Paul Fusco, imdb.com

Ain't nothing like a pleasant drive in the countryside looking at some stinking ass toilets.

— Sean Whitesell, Stephen Holder, Joel Kinnaman, imdb.com

All right, red light. Time to text and shave and whittle and floss.

— Joseph Lee, Chris Regan, Peter Griffin, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Great, now we got a mummy on the loose and the son of a bitch knows how to drive stick?

— Steve Franks, Burton 'Gus' Guster, Dule Hill, imdb.com

You know, this whole driving thing’s quite easy when you’re actually trying to hit something.

— Dana Horgan, Jerome Schwartz, Zelena, Rebecca Mader, imdb.com

Hayley: [after the cab crashes] Did the cabbie survive? Stan: No. Damn fool was driving sober.

— John Unholz, Robert Maitia, Ali Waller, Brett Cawley, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

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