“You shut your got-dang mouth or I'll shove that Ditch Witch down your throat and dig a…”

“No coincidence. I like to hump, I like to eat, and I don't like to drive.”

“Maybe I should tie the long hair on your head to the short hair on your ass and kick you…”

“Bobby, I'm proud of what you did at school today....So I'm buyin' you a hooker! Go ahead…”