“When we make pizza at home it's my wife's job to shred the cheese. She's the gratist.”

“Yesterday a dollar bill came out of my butt. It made no cents. Still no change today.”

“I regret joining a band with a turkey on drums. He usually forgets his drumsticks so he…”

“Why does Pennywise live in the sewer? He used to live in a septic tank but he ran out of…”