“I was a very sober child. Maybe I'll stay here and make up for lost time.”

“The world is absolutely lousy with people, and I hate them all. I hate everyone but you.”

“You know, when we had that moment in the pub, I thought to myself, 'After 33 years, I'm…”

“Last night, a certifiable fox hit on me, and I did not respond. I masturbated furiously…”