“Last night, a certifiable fox hit on me, and I did not respond. I masturbated furiously afterwards, but only after I'd rejected her.”
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“I was a very sober child. Maybe I'll stay here and make up for lost time.”
“Anyway, a vodka cellar is no place for sober little children.”
“The world is absolutely lousy with people, and I hate them all. I hate everyone but you.”
“You know, when we had that moment in the pub, I thought to myself, 'After 33 years, I'm…”