“Our first assignment is a documentary. They're like real movies but with ugly people.”
More from Jon Pollack
“Well, when you say 'classmate', it sounds like we take naps together and eat paste, but…”
“I have a conflict. It conflicts with the enjoyment of my life.”
“Look at me. I've got the body of a fifth grader.”
“I was so unpopular in high school, the crossing guards used to lure me into traffic!”