“I was so unpopular in high school, the crossing guards used to lure me into traffic!”
More from Jon Pollack
“Well, when you say 'classmate', it sounds like we take naps together and eat paste, but…”
“I have a conflict. It conflicts with the enjoyment of my life.”
“Look at me. I've got the body of a fifth grader.”
“Our first assignment is a documentary. They're like real movies but with ugly people.”