Quote
Catalog

Tim Hobert

10 quotes

All Sassy (2)Whale (1)Enjoyment (1)Red Lipstick (1)fifth grader (1)Teachers (1)Students (1)Awards (1)classmate (1)Documentary (1)Naps (1)Life (1)real movies (1)look (1)Prostitute (1)

From “Introduction to Film”

Our first assignment is a documentary. They're like real movies but with ugly people.

Documentary assignment real movies ugly

9/11 was pretty much 9/11 for the falafel business.

9/11 falafel Business End

From “Introduction to Statistics”

Well, when you say 'classmate', it sounds like we take naps together and eat paste, but what's great about community college is that a lot of the students are just as mature as the teachers.

classmate Naps Paste community college Students

I have a conflict. It conflicts with the enjoyment of my life.

Conflict Enjoyment Life

Look at me. I've got the body of a fifth grader.

look Body fifth grader

I was so unpopular in high school, the crossing guards used to lure me into traffic!

Unpopular high school crossing guard

From “My Journey”

Elliot: Dr. Cox, does this shade of red make me look like a clown? Dr. Cox: No... Barbie, no. It makes you look like a prostitute that caters exclusively to clowns.

Clowns Prostitute Sassy Red Lipstick

From “My Hypocritical Oath”

Dude, the only difference between a black girl and a white girl is that when a black girl asks you if her ass looks big, you say, 'Hell yeah!'

Black Girl White Girl ass Big Butt

From “My Jiggly Ball”

Dr. Kelso: This Friday, I am receiving an award from the A.M.A.— Dr. Cox: Jerk-Off of the Year. No, Bastard of the Year! Uh, don't you tell me! Guy I Despise So Much, I'd Pay Someone To Kill You and Stuff You and Leave You by my Bed, So That When I Wake Up in the Morning, I Could Roll Over and Punch…

Awards Bastard insults Sassy Hatred

From “My Mirror Image”

Patient: I was so obsessed with getting my J.D. that I never did the things I really wanted to do. Start a family. See the world. Janitor: Punch a whale. Patient: Nah, I punched a whale. Right in the face. Down he went, like Liston.

Bucketlist Family Regrets travel Whale

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