Ralph Kramden: Name one thing that could possibly be worse than my mother-in-law coming.

Ed Norton: My mother-in-law coming! Boy, compared to her coming, the invasion of locusts was a boon to mankind!

Ralph Kramden: Don't start, Norton. Don't try to compare your mother-in-law with my mother-in-law, 'cause you got a lose. It's no match.

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