Quotes tagged ‘Mother in Law’

“[at the dinner table] Carolyn Burnham: Your father and I were just discussing his day at work. Why don't you tell our daughter about it, honey? Lester Burnham: Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass t…”

— Alan Ball, Lester Burnham, Kevin Spacey, imdb.com

“Wilma Flintstone: It's been weeks since you had a good word for anybody or anything. Fred Flintstone: Oh yeah, what about that thing I said about your mother last week? Wilma Flintstone: My mother? Fred Flintstone: I said, good riddance she lives 50 miles away.”

— Herrbert Finn, Fred Flintstone, Alan Reed, imdb.com

“I love my dear sweet mother-in-law. My mother-in-law is a doll.”

— Warren Foster, Fred Flintstone, Alan Reed, imdb.com

“Darrin Stephens: I'm doing this for Sam's good. Believe me, I know every ache and pain that she has, and it hurts me more than her. Endora: It doesn't yet, but it will.”

— Howard Leeds, imdb.com

“Darrin Stephens: But if that mother of yours ever pulls a stunt like that again, I'm gonna use a little magic of my own. Make a few of her teeth disappear. Samantha Stephens: And no jury will convict you.”

— Howard Leeds, Samantha Stephens, Elizabeth Montgomery, imdb.com

“Endora: I hate to criticize a man when he's down, Samantha, but Donald always struck me as being overly sensitive. Samantha Stephens: His name is Darrin!”

— Richard Baer, Samantha Stephens, Elizabeth Montgomery, imdb.com

“You have personally set back the mother-in-law business 200 years!”

— Ken Englund, Darrin Stephens (1964-1969 eps.), Dick York, imdb.com

“Samantha Stephens: Mother's often said that mortals are their own worst enemies. Darrin Stephens: You just said the one word I don't like to hear. Samantha Stephens: 'Enemies'? Darrin Stephens: 'Mother'.”

— Joanna Lee, Darrin Stephens (1964-1969 eps.), Dick York, imdb.com

“Samantha, you know if you'd married one of those nice warlocks that were crazy about you, none of this would have happened.”

— Richard Sale, Endora, Agnes Moorhead, imdb.com

“You bring him back or I'll make your life miserable for you. And you know I can do it. I'll move in with you.”

— Danny Arnold, Endora, Agnes Moorhead, imdb.com

“Samantha Stephens: Darren, have you been drinking? Darrin Stephens: Your mother was right! Samantha Stephens: You have been drinking!”

— Bernard Slade, Samantha Stephens, Elizabeth Montgomery, imdb.com

“I detest sounding like one of those mothers who thinks they know it all, but unfortunately, I do.”

— Jerry Davis, Endora, Agnes Moorhead, imdb.com

“Samantha: He's a dear, sweet, wonderful, perfectly marvelous man. Endora: Oh, my poor baby. He sounds simply horrible.”

— Sol Saks, Samantha Stephens, Elizabeth Montgomery, imdb.com

“[speaking to a recorder an apology to Alice] Hello, Alice. This is me, Ralph. Alice, I'm sorry. I'm miserable without ya. Please come back to me, Alice. I apologize for everything I've said. I even apologize to your mother. I know she doesn't mean the things she says, Alice, it's just her nature. Sh…”

— A.J. Russell, Herbert Finn, Ralph Kramden, Jackie Gleason, imdb.com

“[to Alice's mother; shouting] You—are a blabbermouth! A blabbermouth! You! Blabbermouth! Out!”

— A.J. Russell, Herbert Finn, Ralph Kramden, Jackie Gleason, imdb.com

“Alice Kramden: Now you listen to me, Ralph. My mother is coming here and you're going to be nice to her. Ralph Kramden: Be nice to her? That's impossible! We don't get along. We're enemies, natural enemies. Like a boa constrictor and a mongoose. She hates me, Alice! Alice Kramden: Ralph, Mother does…”

— Marvin Marx, Walter Stone, Alice Kramden, Audrey Meadows, imdb.com

“Dear Mom, I just thought I'd write and tell you this. A mother-in-law is the most criticized, the most misunderstood and the most defenseless of all women. The average woman must be clever enough to know when to speak, but a mother-in-law must know when to keep silent. She must be very wise; wise en…”

— Marvin Marx, Walter Stone, Ralph Kramden, Jackie Gleason, imdb.com

“Ralph Kramden: Name one thing that could possibly be worse than my mother-in-law coming. Ed Norton: My mother-in-law coming! Boy, compared to her coming, the invasion of locusts was a boon to mankind! Ralph Kramden: Don't start, Norton. Don't try to compare your mother-in-law with my mother-in-law,…”

— Marvin Marx, Walter Stone, Ralph Kramden, Jackie Gleason, imdb.com

“Ralph Kramden: [Alice's mother has been engaging in her typical insult-based banter with Ralph] Oh, you're startin' right in, huh? Startin' right in with the insults! No warmin' up in the bullpen or nothin', huh? Startin' right in! I remember when you used come over, you used to to start slow with a…”

— Marvin Marx, Walter Stone, Ralph Kramden, Jackie Gleason, imdb.com