“Young Girl: And then Mommy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and left a diamond under a leaf in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby!
Pugsley: Our parents are having a baby, too.
Wednesday: They had sex.”
More from Paul Rudnick
“Walter Kresby: You're even better at sex, don't deny it. Joanna Eberhard: I wasn't going…”
“Morticia: My baby is ill, and my husband is dying. Oh Mama, what shall I do? Grandma:…”
“[to Gomez] I'm just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family.…”
“[to Debbie] You have enslaved him. You have placed Fester under some strange sexual spell.…”