“Maybe I would have been nicer to the townspeople had they not been so fat and stupid.”
More from Seth Meyers
“Trump's been trying to pretend the problem doesn't exist.”
“You want to know what I think? Tough titties.”
“A hypnotist with pink eye is like a boxer with two broken hands.”
“She was building a pink-eye army to infiltrate all of Oregon. It was diabolical because…”