“Patient: I was so obsessed with getting my J.D. that I never did the things I really wanted to do. Start a family. See the world.
Janitor: Punch a whale.
Patient: Nah, I punched a whale. Right in the face. Down he went, like Liston.”
More from Tim Hobert
“Well, when you say 'classmate', it sounds like we take naps together and eat paste, but…”
“I have a conflict. It conflicts with the enjoyment of my life.”
“Look at me. I've got the body of a fifth grader.”
“I was so unpopular in high school, the crossing guards used to lure me into traffic!”