“So lady, when you say you’re horny ‘the way guys are,’ I ask you, are you willing to go into an unmarked building and wait behind a wall for a stranger to stick his dick through a hole in that wall? And then you, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, polish it off for the love of the game? Because that’s what savages men are. [audience cheering and clapping] And she goes, ‘Yeah. I’m not that horny.’ And I go, ‘I know.’ [audience laughs]”
More from Tom Segura
“So, I’m naked. I’m in the fetal position. [My doctor] lubes up. It is a ton of lube. I…”
“It was a Catholic school, and on Wednesdays, they had Mass. So picture, you’re a new…”
“Masturbating is important, you know? You appreciate it more when you’re a parent. I look…”
“I support building a wall if it’s around the state of Louisiana because those people are…”