Season 2

“Sitting with friends, talking about something important is one of the most powerful and necessary forces in the world. It is the way so many noble organizations begin, with a conversation between associates or even brothers.”

— Daniel Handler, Lemony Snicket, Patrick Warburton, imdb.com

“Sleep is a natural part of life, like cosmetics or frivolous lawsuits.”

— Daniel Handler, Esmé Squalor, Lucy Punch, imdb.com

“Sometimes a story ends before it’s over with unanswered questions, unresolved plots, lingering suspense, blanketing the world like snow. Or like smoke from a suspicious fire.”

— Daniel Handler, Lemony Snicket, Patrick Warburton, imdb.com

“Sometimes life feels like some dismal story presented as entertainment by some cruel and invisible author. It isn’t a pleasant way to feel. But what choice do we have?”

— Daniel Handler, Lemony Snicket, Patrick Warburton, imdb.com

“Starving people can’t eat money. Plus, if we give money to poor people, then they won’t be poor anymore, and we won’t have anyone to feel sorry for.”

— Daniel Handler, Esmé Squalor, Lucy Punch, imdb.com

“The phrase 'in the dark,' which I’m sure you know, can refer to not only one’s shadowy surroundings, but also to the secrets which might be surrounding you, too. Every day, the sun goes down over all of these secrets, so everyone is in the dark in one way or another.”

— Daniel Handler, Lemony Snicket, Patrick Warburton, imdb.com

“The whole world is cruel. School is just a microcosm.”

— Daniel Handler, Larry Your-Waiter, Patrick Breen, imdb.com

“This school has a new kind of spirit energy. A sense of unity and joy which you usually cannot find unless you are at a birthday party or a public hanging.”

— Daniel Handler, Count Olaf, Neil Patrick Harris, imdb.com

“Those people that say they want to help you are the ones that let you down the most.”

— Daniel Handler, Hal, David Alan Grier, imdb.com

“What is bad news to one person might be good news to someone else. And sometimes, what seems like good news might actually be something full of sadness, misery, and grief.”

— Daniel Handler, Lemony Snicket, Patrick Warburton, imdb.com

“We all learn bravery the hard way.”

— Daniel Handler, Jacques Snicket, Nathan Fillion, imdb.com

“When I was 14, I was crowned False Spring Queen. We had this whole ceremony with my Snow Scout troupe at the top of a mountain. They did a little dance around a pole. It’s where I discovered my love of pole dancing. Then, on the way back down the mountain, we stayed in a cave full of hibernating bea…”

— Daniel Handler, Esmé Squalor, Lucy Punch, imdb.com

“You see, a scheme is like a fire. Everything must be in order for it to work. You need matches, torches, an angry mob that won’t listen to reason, and the right sort of kindling. Orphans, for instance, tied to the wooden stake.”

— Daniel Handler, Count Olaf, Neil Patrick Harris, imdb.com

“When you read an enormous number of books, you are going to learn a great deal of information that might not be useful for a long time. But then, suddenly, like a strike of lightning or a grand piano falling out of a window, an opportunity arises to use the information gleaned from even the most unl…”

— Daniel Handler, Lemony Snicket, Patrick Warburton, imdb.com

“In a world too often governed by corruption and arrogance, it can be difficult to stay true to one’s literary and philosophical principles.”

— Daniel Handler, Larry Your-Waiter, Patrick Breen, imdb.com