Season 2

“[in voiceover] And that's when we started to plan the murder. What to wear, what to bring. In murder, as in life, planning is everything.”

— Debra Frank, Carl Sautter, David Addison Jr., Bruce Willis, imdb.com

“Maddie/Rita: We have to get back to the real world! David/Zach: No, never. I'll never give up my dreams. 'Cause if you stop dreaming you're just wasting eight hours a night.”

— Glenn Gordon Caron, Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes, Cybill Shepherd, imdb.com

“Zach/David: [in voiceover] I always play my horn with my shirt off. Late at night, by an open window, next to a flashing neon light. I know I look good that way.”

— Glenn Gordon Caron, David Addison Jr., Bruce Willis, imdb.com

“Maddie: I am not a sexist! David: Not only are you a sexist, but you are the sexiest sexist that's ever been in my good fortune to satirize. Maddie: Satirize? David: Satirize, scrutinize, fantasize, etc., etc., etc.”

— Glenn Gordon Caron, Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes, Cybill Shepherd, imdb.com

“Rita/Maddie: You were pretty hot tonight. Zach/David: You, too. Rita/Maddie: You got a great lip. Zach/David: You got, too. Rita/Maddie: Drink? Zach/David: Absolutely. Eat, too. [in voiceover] That night was the beginning. We would see more of each other, then all of each other. But this is televisi…”

— Glenn Gordon Caron, David Addison Jr., Bruce Willis, imdb.com

“David: You look at everything like...a woman first and then a person second. Maddie: What does that mean? David: I said what I meant and I meant what I said.”

— Glenn Gordon Caron, David Addison Jr., Bruce Willis, imdb.com

“Maddie: You're an animal. David: And you're a sexist. Maddie: What?! David: A sexist!! You know what a sexist is? Maddie: Of course I know what a sexist is, I am looking at one. David: So am I!!”

— Glenn Gordon Caron, David Addison Jr., Bruce Willis, imdb.com

“I don't know about you, but I for one, I for one, hit my knees every night and thank the man upstairs that there is a little bit of dishonesty left in this otherwise sunny world. You just think about that. That's all I have to say.”

— Glenn Gordon Caron, David Addison Jr., Bruce Willis, imdb.com

“Wait a second, wait a second, wait a second, there's a page missing out of my copy of the script.”

— Glenn Gordon Caron, David Addison Jr., Bruce Willis, imdb.com