Season 2

“He pulled me into his Kia, and he said to me, 'Sandra take out your taters'.”

— Matt Hubbard, Sandra Kaluiokalani, Kaliko Kauahi, imdb.com

“We spend hours on the phone, just talking. He loves my taste in music. I spend the night at his hotel when he's in town. We make love on silk sheets. Oh, God, he's gentle and strong. Sometimes he's dark. He took me to the edge of his balcony once and he asked, 'Are you afraid?' And I said, 'Yes.' An…”

— Vanessa Ramos, Sandra Kaluiokalani, Kaliko Kauahi, imdb.com

“Welcome to the no options club. It's a cool club. Most of America's in it. We meet on Tuesdays.”

— Matt Hubbard, Amy Dubanowski, America Ferrera, imdb.com

“Dina: Has anyone noticed anything out of the ordinary back here? Amy: Well, it's Halloween, so everything's kind of out of the ordinary.”

— Karey Dornetto, Amy Dubanowski, America Ferrera, imdb.com

“I can't be around Dina in that costume. It's like, my rational brain says that's the same crazy fascist that physically removed gum from my mouth, but my caveman brain says, hey, man, boobs. It's very confusing.”

— Karey Dornetto, Garrett McNeill, Colton Dunn, imdb.com

“Some days you get the giraffe, and other days you get the wig.”

— Sierra Teller Ornelas, Cheyenne Lee, Nichole Bloom, imdb.com

“Alprazolam, Good, good times.”

— Eric Ledgin, Tate Staskiewicz, Josh Lawson, imdb.com

“Yo, I don't like working here. Okay. But it's my job. I do the bare minimum, but I don't do less than that. And I'm not about to let a bunch of deal-hungry rubes trash our store and make me feel bad for Dina, which I did not think was possible. So I'ma get out there, and I'ma finish my shift. And ye…”

— Eric Ledgin, Garrett McNeill, Colton Dunn, imdb.com

“It's all hands on deck, so quit your Myspacing and get on the register. That's an order.”

— Eric Ledgin, Dina Fox, Lauren Ash, imdb.com

“Is it true that the Olympic Village is basically just a three-week-long Slammerama?”

— Jonathan Green, Dina Fox, Lauren Ash, imdb.com