Season 3

“Dr. Robert 'Bob' Hartley: [Bob's changed his mind—at the last minute—about his sister, Ellen, moving in with Howard, next door. He's so frustrated, he can't even speak. So, he asks Emily to speak for him] Em-Emily, will-will you please tell her what I'm... what I'm trying to say? Emily Hartley: [Emi…”

— Charlotte Brown, Emily Hartley, Suzanne Pleshette, imdb.com

“I discovered I don't I don't have to flaunt it to be attractive...if you know what I mean”

— Alan Rafkin, Joan Rossi, Emma Gemignani, imdb.com

“I'm not wearing a girdle. I feel loose as a goose!”

— Jerry Mayer, Mrs. Cowens, Joan Tompkins, imdb.com

“I lost. I lost to a guy who sliced butter with a bullwhip and to a woman who let air out of an inner tube to the tune of 'Melancholy Baby.'”

— Erik Tarloff, Robert Hartley, Bob Newhart, imdb.com

“Howard Borden: Then I'll just say... Checkers! Dr. Robert 'Bob' Hartley: Checkmate. Howard Borden: Whatever.”

— Erik Tarloff, imdb.com

“Yesterday morning...I was possessed by the Devil.”

— Erik Tarloff, Elliot Carlin, Jack Riley, imdb.com

“Dr. Robert 'Bob' Hartley: You run like a girl. Emily Hartley: I AM a girl.”

— Jerry Mayer, Emily Hartley, Suzanne Pleshette, imdb.com

“Emily Hartley: [Howard—dressed like Tobin, in head-to-toe leather, and Ellen are over at Bob and Emily's. John Tobin's left—finally] Howard, you are incredible. Howard Borden: I don't mean to be. I just want my girl back, that's all. Ellen Hartley: [laughing] Oh, Howard... [smiling, and looking at H…”

— Michael Zinberg, Howard Borden, Bill Daily, imdb.com

“Ellen Hartley: Howard, I want to tell you something but I don't want you getting all jealous. Howard Borden: You don't have to worry about that anymore. I don't have a jealous bone in my whole body. Dr. Robert 'Bob' Hartley: I'm surprised you can walk.”

— Michael Zinberg, Howard Borden, Bill Daily, imdb.com