“Here I am with all this talent bottled up inside of me and you're always sitting on the cork.”— Jess Oppenheimer, Lucy Ricardo, Lucille Ball, imdb.com
“Ricky Ricardo: Now look, Lucy, we're not going to go over all this again. You cannot be in the show. Lucy Ricardo: Give me one good reason. Ricky Ricardo: You have no talent. Lucy Ricardo: Give me another good reason.”— Jess Oppenheimer, Ricky Ricardo, Desi Arnaz, imdb.com
“I lost. I lost to a guy who sliced butter with a bullwhip and to a woman who let air out of an inner tube to the tune of 'Melancholy Baby.'”— Erik Tarloff, Robert Hartley, Bob Newhart, imdb.com