“At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?”— Zach Galafianakis, reddit.comTagged: Funny Quotes, Highways, Adoption, Stand-Up Quotes
“I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like his passengers.”— Jack Handey, reddit.comTagged: Funny Quotes, Family, Death, Terrible Jokes, Funny
“Like a German vegetarian, I feared the wurst.”— Unknown, reddit.comTagged: Funny Quotes, German, Wurst, Puns, play on words
“My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.”— Unknown, reddit.comTagged: Funny Jokes, Animal Jokes, Flamingos, Dating, Relationships
“People say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people.”— Unknown, reddit.comTagged: Funny Quotes, Condescending, Confidence, Big Ego, Talking Down To People
“I don't have a girlfriend, but I know a woman who would get really angry if she heard me say that.”— Mitch Hedberg, reddit.comTagged: Funny Quotes, Girlfriend, Dating, Relationships, Couple Fights