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Quotes tagged ‘blonde jokes’

(50 total)

A blonde wearing an eye-patch and missing a leg, walks into a bar and a brunette waitress says, 'Oh my god look at that one-eyed, one-legged skank!' and the blonde spins round shouting 'Where, where, I don't see her!'

— Reddit, reddit.com

There is a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walking through the desert. They all brought one thing from the broken down car to help them on their journey to find shelter. The brunette says, 'I brought the bread from the cooler, if we get hungry, we can eat it.' The redhead says 'I brought the water…

— Reddit, reddit.com

What did the blonde get on her SAT? Drool!

— Reddit, reddit.com

A blonde a brunette and a red head jumped off a cliff. Who hits the ground last? The blonde because she stopped and asked for directions.

— Reddit, reddit.com

How do you break a blonde's nose? Put a dildo under a glass table.

— Reddit, reddit.com

A blonde wants into the store and says to the employee, 'I'd like to buy this TV.' Employee says, 'Sorry, we don't sell to blondes.' The blonde leaves in a huff. The next day, she returns to the same store, but with her hair dyed brown. 'I'd like to buy this TV, please.' 'I'm sorry, miss, but we don…

— Reddit, reddit.com

What do you call a blonde with a brunette wig on? Artificial Intelligence.

— Reddit, reddit.com

How do you entertain a blonde for the day? Give her a piece of paper that says "turn over" on both sides.

— Reddit, reddit.com

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

— Reddit, reddit.com

Why was the blonde's belly button bruised? Her boyfriend was blonde too.

— Reddit, reddit.com

Why does the blonde girl put an empty bottle in the fridge? For the visitors who don't drink.

— Reddit, reddit.com

What's the first thing a blonde asks when she learns she is pregnant? Is it mine?

— Reddit, reddit.com

A blonde was pulled over for speeding by a blonde cop and was asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, 'What does a driver's license look like?' Irritated, the blonde cop said, 'You dummy, it's got y…

— Reddit, reddit.com

What do you call a blonde doctor? An imposter!

— Reddit, reddit.com

A blonde was trying to install something on her computer. When it was all done, the computer said 'press any key to continue'. She then had to call someone because she couldn't find the 'any' key.

— Reddit, reddit.com

A blonde woman gets onto an elevator and she says to the man on the elevator 'T.G.I.F' The man replies 'S.H.I.T.' She furrows her brow and repeats 'T.G.I.F.' The man replies once again 'S.H.I.T.' The blonde says 'T.G.I.F.--Thank God it's Friday!' The man says 'S.H.I.T.--Sorry Honey, it's Thursday!'

— Reddit, reddit.com

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

— Reddit, reddit.com

A blonde guy calls 911. Dispatcher: 911, what is your emergency? Blonde guy: My wife is in labor and the contractions are two minutes apart!! Dispatcher: Ok, I can help you. Is this her first child? Blonde guy: No, you idiot, this is her husband!

— Reddit, reddit.com

A blonde asked me 'What letter comes after X?' So I responded 'Y', and she got mad and said 'Stop being a jerk, I really want to know!'

— Reddit, reddit.com

A man and a blonde are driving in a car next to a field. They come across a blonde male in a row boat rowing. 'See! This is exactly why blondes get such a bad rap.' Says the blonde. 'If I knew how to swim I'd go over there and teach him a lesson.'

— Reddit, reddit.com

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