Quotes tagged ‘Funny’

“Bleeker: I still have your underwear. Juno: I still have your virginity. Bleeker: Would you shut up?”

— Bleeker, Ellen Page, Michael Cera, Juno, amazon.com

“Juno: I'm pregnant. Leah: What? Honest to blog? Juno: Yeah. Yeah, it's Bleeker's. Leah: It's probably just a food baby. Did you have a big lunch? Juno: No, this is not a food baby all right? I've taken like three pregnancy tests, and I'm forshizz up the spout. Leah: How did you even generate enough…”

— Leah, Ellen Page, Olivia Thirlby, Juno, amazon.com

“Everything is funny, if you can laugh at it.”

— Lewis Carroll, amazon.com

“I'm too tall to marry.”

— Greta Gerwig, Frances, amazon.com

“Andy: 'So what do you do?' Frances: 'Eh... It's kinda hard to explain.' Andy: 'Because what you do is complicated?' Frances: 'Eh... Because I don't really do it.'”

— Greta Gerwig, Josh Hamilton, Frances, Andy, amazon.com

“I'll clean my room. In exchange for your immortal soul.”

— Christina Ricci, Wednesday Addams, amazon.com

“Wednesday [Cranking the switches]: 'It has to warm up.' Pugsley: 'Why?' Wednesday: 'So it can kill you.' Pugsley: 'I knew that.'”

— Christina Ricci, Jimmy Workman, Wednesday Addams, Pugsley, amazon.com

“[Pugsley is tied up, mumbling urgently around an apple in his mouth.] Wednesday: Don't be a baby. I know what I'm doing. [She levels a crossbow.]”

— Christina Ricci, Wednesday Addams, amazon.com

“Wednesday: 'May I have the salt?' Morticia: 'What do we say?' Wednesday: 'Now.'”

— Morticia, Christina Ricci, Anjelica Huston, Harriet Sansom Harris, Ellen, amazon.com

“Girl Scout: 'Is this made from real lemons?' Wednesday: 'Yes.' Girl Scout: 'I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons?' Pugsley: 'Yes.' Girl Scout: 'Well, I'll tell you what. I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious…”

— Christina Ricci, Jimmy Workman, Wednesday Addams, Pugsley, amazon.com

“[As they're about to bury two people.] Pugsley: 'Are they dead?' Wednesday: 'Does it matter?'”

— Christina Ricci, Jimmy Workman, Wednesday Addams, Pugsley, amazon.com

“This is my costume. I'm a homicidal maniac, they look just like everyone else.”

— Wednesday Addams, Christina Ricci, imdb.com

“Joel: 'Wednesday, do you think that maybe someday you might want to get married and have kids?' Wednesday: 'No.' Joel: 'But what if you met the right man, who worshiped and adored you? Who'd do anything for you? Who'd be your devoted slave? Then what would you do?' Wednesday: 'I'd pity him.'”

— Christina Ricci, David Krumholtz, Wednesday Addams, Joel, amazon.com

“If I wanted to kill my husband, I'd do it, and I wouldn't get caught.”

— Christina Ricci, Wednesday Addams, amazon.com

“Morticia: 'Wednesday's at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind.' Ellen: 'Boys?' Wednesday: 'Homicide.'”

— Christina Ricci, Anjelica Huston, Harriet Sansom Harris, Wednesday Addams, Morticia, Ellen, amazon.com

“Amanda: 'Why are you dressed like that?' Wednesday: 'Like what?' Amanda: 'Like you're going to a funeral. Why are you dressed like somebody died?' Wednesday: 'Wait.'”

— Christina Ricci, Mercedes McNab, Wednesday Addams, Amanda, amazon.com

“Wednesday: 'I don't want to be in the pageant.' Gary: 'Don't you want to help me realize my vision?' Wednesday: 'Your work is puerile and under-dramatized. You lack any sense of structure, character and the Aristotelian unities.' Gary: 'Young lady, I am getting just a tad tired of your attitude prob…”

— Christina Ricci, Peter MacNicol, Wednesday Addams, Gary, amazon.com

“Amanda: 'Is that your bathing suit?' Wednesday: 'Is that your overbite?'”

— Christina Ricci, Mercedes McNab, Wednesday Addams, Amanda, amazon.com

“Summer: 'We've been like Sid and Nancy for months now.' Tom: 'Summer, Sid stabbed Nancy, seven times with a kitchen knife, I mean we have some disagreements but I hardly think I'm Sid Vicious.' Summer: 'No, I'm Sid.' Tom: 'Oh, so I'm Nancy...?'”

— Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Zooey Deschanel, Tom, Summer, amazon.com

“Partygoer: 'So Tom, what is it that you do?' Tom: 'I, uh, I write greeting cards.' Summer: 'Tom could be a really great architect if he wanted to be.' Partygoer: 'That's unusual, I mean, what made you go from one to the other?' Tom: 'I guess I just figured, why make something disposable like a build…”

— Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Zooey Deschanel, Tom, Summer, amazon.com