Quotes tagged ‘Funny’

(562 total)

“Anyone want to adopt a bumblebee? He’s flying around my bedroom right now; just knock on the closet door once you’ve picked him up.”

“5 Ways to Fight the Patriarchy Without Coming on Too Strong”

“Tips for Subtly Teaching Your Daughter to Marry Rich”

“How I Stopped Using Mirrors and Started Stealing Glances of Myself in Reflective Buildings”

“Why I Stopped Meditating And Started Screaming”

“Stunning Photos of Real Women the Moment They Realize They Have a UTI”

“Top Female CEOs Reveal Which Room They Sometimes Cry In”

“Long Day? Treat Yourself to The Handicap Bathroom Stall”

“Eat When You’re Hungry and Other Ways to Self-Care Like a Man”

“How to Open Yourself Up to New Experiences and Ultimately Reject Them”

“Wow! This Woman Rewards Her Three Minutes Of Work With Full Two Hours Of Stalking Her Ex”

“Incredible! This Woman Finished Telling An Entire Story In This Noisy Bar”

“7 Mother Teresa Quotes To Remind You That All Other Women Are Enemies”

“How To Live Your Life Like A Horny Male Writer Is Profiling You”

“Wow! This Guy Can Explain Nihilism Without Anyone Asking Him To”

“How To Make The Most Of The Gap Between When He Interrupted You And When He Remembered What He Was Going To Say”

“4 Things About Your Date That You Already Knew From Googling Him”

“5 Things You Should NEVER Forgive Him For, Unless He’s Michael”

“Dog Clickers That Say, ‘Kevin, I Need You To Be Present While We’re at My Family BBQ’”

“6 Red Flags You’ll Zoom Past On Your Way to Dicktown”