“You know what they say about Harleys and hemorrhoids? Sooner or later every asshole gets one.”— Liz Doran, Thomas Ward, Josh Thomas, Alan, David Roberts, imdb.com
“Stan: Dude, are you okay? Kyle: [sarcastically] Oh, I'm swell, Stan. I popped my hemorrhoid trying to climb the fence into Cartmanland and it got infected. I really need to go to the bathroom, but if I do, it will pop again and the pain will make me pass out. How are you?”— Trey Parker, Kyle Broflovski, Matt Stone, imdb.com