The thing that freaks me out about having a kid is that you could get one and it could be shit. It could be a douche. Then you have to spend the next 18 years pretending to love it.

kid Scared Freaked Out worries

Do you need a man who likes fish and chips?

Questions Fish and Chips Likes and Dislikes

From “Spanish Eggs”

I love putting food on trays. Please, let me put food on trays.

food Trays offer Tasks

Geoffrey: And I want to give you all of me, the best parts and the worst. Josh: Why do I have to put up with the worst parts?

best worst Relationship Love

She bamboozled you by talking about periods. That's very cunning.

Bamboozled period pregnant Cunning

Excuse me, sir! I've seen your wang!

excuse me Wang Sex

I'm depressed. I don't vacuum.

depressed Vacuum chores

I'm scared of surprises.

frightened Scared Surprises

From “Horrible Sandwiches”

You're only into me when you're feeling needy and alone.

Feelings Alone needy Relationships

You know what they say about Harleys and hemorrhoids? Sooner or later every asshole gets one.

Harley Hemorrhoid joke

From “Milk”

Sex is meant to make people feel like quite nice.

Sex Feelings Enjoyment

Do you have the brain capacity to understand love?

Brain Love Understand

It's just that everyone's terrified all the time.

terrified Scared

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