Kyle: Dude, I have to save Ike! I don't even know what to do! Stan: Well, we can't do anything now; that fat bitch won't let us. Ms. Crabtree: [shouts] WHAT DID YOU SAY? Stan: I said, 'Rabbits eat lettuce.' Ms. Crabtree: Oh. Well, yes, they certainly do.
Catalog
Kyle Broflovski
Kyle Broflovski (sometimes spelled Kyel Broflovski, Broslovski, Broslofski, Brovlofski or Broflofski) is a main character in the animated television series South Park. He is voiced by and loosely based on co-creator Matt Stone. Kyle is one of the show's four central characters, along with his friends Stan Marsh, Kenny McCormick, and Eric Cartman. He debuted on television when South Park first aired on August 13, 1997, after having first appeared in The Spirit of Christmas shorts created by Stone and long-time collaborator Trey Parker in 1992 (Jesus vs. Frosty) and 1995 (Jesus vs. Santa). Kyle is a third- then fourth-grade student who commonly has extraordinary experiences not typical of conventional small-town life in his fictional hometown of South Park, Colorado. Kyle is distinctive as one of the few Jewish children on the show, and because of this, he often feels like an outsider amongst the core group of characters. His portrayal in this role is often dealt with satirically, and has elicited both praise and criticism from Jewish viewers. Like the other South Park characters, Kyle is animated by computer in a way to emulate the show's original method of cutout animatio
Kyle: [into Cartman's ear] Hey, if you visitors can hear me, bring me back my little brother, goddamn it! Cartman: Ow, that hurt, you buttlicker!
Kyle: Ready, Ike? Kick the baby! Ike: Don't kick the baby! Kyle: Kick the baby. [kicks Ike across the street, knocking over a row of mailboxes]
Kyle: Stan, you can use family love as a weapon against Shelley. The next time she's going to kick your ass, just tell her 'Shelley, you're my sister and I love you.' Kenny [muffled]: And I want to see you handling your breasts. Stan: Sick, dude, she's my sister!
Mrs. Crabtree: Wait! What's that thing?! [referring to the elephant] Kyle: Oh, this is the new retarded kid. Mrs. Crabtree: Oh. I'm sorry, little girl, but you still can't get on. You have to take the Special Ed bus.
Mayor: The Chickenfucker struck again last night. Kyle: Oh, no! Officer Barbarady: Oh Mayor, please, when we're around children we prefer to call him the 'chicken lover.' Mayor's Assistant: This time he made love to Carla Weathers's prize chicken. She's catatonic. Barbrady: Who? Carla Weathers or…
Officer Barbarady: Yes, at first I was happy to be learning how to read. It seemed exciting and magical, but then I read this: Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. I read every last word of its garbage, and because of this piece of shoot, I'm never reading again. Stan/Kyle: Hooray for Barbarady!
Priest Maxi: Good. Boys, how would you like to perform the Stations of the Cross this Friday night? Stan: The what? Priest Maxi: It's like a skit, where you re-enact the death and glorious resurrection of Jesus Christ. Kyle: Hey, res-erection! That's what my dad needs!
So Jesus died and then three days later he had an erection.
Why? How could you do this? There are people starving in Alabama! And you give Cartman a million dollars?!
Stan: Dude, are you okay? Kyle: [sarcastically] Oh, I'm swell, Stan. I popped my hemorrhoid trying to climb the fence into Cartmanland and it got infected. I really need to go to the bathroom, but if I do, it will pop again and the pain will make me pass out. How are you?