Quotes tagged ‘I Hate You Mom’

“Lois Griffin: Stewie, hold my hand. Stewie Griffin: No, thank you, I prefer to die giving you the finger.”

— Seth MacFarlane, Stewie Griffin, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

“Lois Griffin: Stewie? What are you doing here? Stewie Griffin: [points a gun at Lois] Oh there is a very simple answer to that. You drove me here, with all indignity you force me to suffer for all these years! Lois Griffin: Wha? What are you doing with a gun? Stewie Griffin: Something I should have…”

— David A. Goodman, Stewie Griffin, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

“Yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch.”

— Seth MacFarlane, Stewie Griffin, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

“Psychologist: Does Stewart have a history of aggression? Lois Griffin: No, no, hitting Peter is the first violent thing he's ever done. Stewie Griffin: Well, technically the first act of violence was that time bomb I left ticking in your uterus before I came out. Happy 50th birthday Lois!”

— Chris Sheridan, Stewie Griffin, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

“Peter Griffin: Come on, Stewie, your mom and I have something for ya. Stewie Griffin: Oh, let me guess, you've picked out yet another colorful box with a crank that I'm expected to turn and turn until OOP! Big shock, a Jack pops out. And you laugh and the kids laugh and the dog laughs and I die a li…”

— Mark Hentemann, Stewie Griffin, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

“Lois: Sweetie, it's broccoli, it's good for you. Now open up for the airplane. Stewie: Never! Damn the broccoli! Damn you! And damn the Wright Brothers!”

— Seth MacFarlane, Stewie Griffin, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

“Lois: Well, hi, there, sweetie! Stewie: You know, Mother, life is like a box of chocolates: You never know what you're going to get. Your life, however, is more like a box of active grenades!”

— Seth MacFarlane, Stewie Griffin, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

“Damn you, woman, awake from your damnable reverie!”

— Neil Goldman, Garrett Donovan, Stewie Griffin, Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com