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Neil Goldman

10 quotesScreenwriter · United States Of America · Male

All Funny (3)No Shame (1)Cry-Maxing (1)Shower Shorts (1)Word Play (1)Damn (1)I Hate You Mom (1)tips (1)Shy (1)Competitive (1)Competitiveness (1)Guy Love (1)Daughter and Mother (1)Penis Length (1)Damn you, woman (1)

From “Mind Over Murder”

Damn you, woman, awake from your damnable reverie!

Damn you, woman Frustration Damn insults I Hate You Mom

From “Da Boom”

Meg Griffin: Yeah, why are we here in this bomb shelter when I could be getting felt up by Kevin? Lois Griffin: Now don't give it to him all at once, honey, make him work for it.

Funny Daughter and Mother Hooking Up

From “Running Mates”

[about Peter] This is a man who thinks the plural of goose is sheep.

Snark Stupid Funny

I can be just as non-competitive as anybody. Matter of fact, I'm the most non-competitive. So I win.

Competitive Competitiveness Funny I Am The Best

From “My Balancing Act”

Elliot: Listen, Carla, I can't even pretend that I can give you tips on intercourse... Carla: I got one for you, stop calling it that.

Intercourse Sassy tips

From “My Hero”

I think one of the most universal human experiences is feeling alone. You'd never know it, but there's most likely tons of people feeling the exact same way. Maybe because you're feeling abandoned. Maybe because you realize that you aren't as self-sufficient as you thought. Maybe because you know…

Alone Abandoned Low Point Mindset Choice

From “My Interpretation”

J.D.: Well, I still want to refer you to a dermatologist, but it looks benign. Janitor: Yeah, benign, nine and a half...

Jokes Penis Length Word Play

From “My Screw Up”

Dr. Cox: Shower Shorts? J.D: For the man who has nothing to hide, but still wants to.

Shower Shorts shower Shy Embarrassment hide

From “My Urologist”

Carla: Remember when I first started dating Turk and I wanted to bail on him because he cried at the end of sex? Turk: Baby! J.D.: Relax, Brown Bear, there's no shame in cry-maxing.

Sex Crying Cry-Maxing orgasm No Shame

From “My Chief Concern”

Carla: I'm just saying, the only time you guys haven't been together was our honeymoon. [Turk and J.D. exchange guilty looks] Turk: Fine. Honey, uh, J.D. and I were together during our honeymoon. He flew in and stayed in the bungalow by the pool. J.D.: He forgot his favorite lotion! Was I supposed…

Honeymoon Best Friends Bungalow Love Guy Love

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