Quotes tagged ‘Jewish’

“Ted Baxter: [Ted's brother, Hal needs a dinner date] Say, Mare, why don't you fix Hal up with that Israeli friend of yours? Mary Richards: You mean Rhoda? Ted Baxter: Yeah. Mary Richards: Ted, she's not Israeli; she's from New York. Ted Baxter: Well, I knew it was somewhere there in the Middle East.”

— Treva Silverman, Ted Baxter, Ted Knight, imdb.com

“Robert: I mean, what if we'll never be able to be happy because our entire relationship was based on lies and betrayals so awful that karmically we're doomed? Sol: Wow, you're more Jewish than I am. Robert: Well, we Catholics know our way around guilt, too.”

— Howard J. Morris, Marta Kauffman, Robert Hanson, Martin Sheen, imdb.com

“Hey you guys, you know what they call a Jewish woman's boobs? ... Jewbs!”

— Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Dennis: This Jew's in for a ton of work. Mac: Come on, man! You can't say things like that! Dennis: I don't know what I said. What'd I say? Charlie: Uh, you dropped a hard 'J' on us.”

— Rob McElhenney, Charlie Kelly, Charlie Day, imdb.com

“Rebecca: I'm sorry, I'm Jewish. Darryl: Really? Rebecca: Yeah, but it's okay. Darryl: I honestly had no idea. That is a tiny nose - it's like a button!”

— Rachel Bloom, Aline Brosh McKenna, Darryl Whitefeather, Pete Gardner, imdb.com

“I feel that I'm totally Jewish. I was born a Jew, I feel I'm going to leave this world a Jew. I believe that Jesus is the Messiah of the Jews, and he loves the Jewish people.”

— David Berkowitz, transcripts.cnn.com

“Had ten minutes conversation with Henry Morgenthau about Jewish ship in Palistine [sic]. Told him I would talk to Gen[eral] Marshall about it. He'd no business, whatever to call me. The Jews have no sense of proportion nor do they have any judgement on world affairs. Henry brought a thousand Jews to…”

— Harry S Truman, trumanlibrary.org

“As I critically reviewed the activities of the Jewish people throughout long periods of history I became anxious and asked myself whether for some inscrutable reasons beyond the comprehension of poor mortals such as ourselves, Destiny may not have irrevocably decreed that the final victory must go t…”

— Adolf Hitler, amazon.com

“I'm Jewish. That's no cakewalk either. Last year, I was elected school treasurer. I didn't even run!”

— Judd Apatow, J. Elvis Weinstein, Neal Schweiber, Samm Levine, imdb.com

“College is where I found my queerness, where I began to complicate my gender, where I learned to link my queerness to my politics.”

— Ben Kesslen, them.us

“Jerry: Father, I’ve never done this before, so I’m not sure about what I’m supposed to do. Priest: All right, my son. You can start by telling me your sins. Jerry: Well, I’m Jewish. Priest: Well that’s no sin,. Jerry: Oh…”

— Jill Franklyn, Peter Mehlman, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

“What're you gonna tell me next? The Easter Bunny's Jewish?”

— Jeremy Carver, Dean Winchester, Jensen Ackles, imdb.com

“As we know, the goal of every struggle is victory. But if the proletariat is to achieve victory, all the workers, irrespective of nationality, must be united. Clearly, the demolition of national barriers and close unity between the Russian, Georgian, Armenian, Polish, Jewish and other proletarians i…”

— Joseph Stalin, marxists.org

“What do you call two Jewish rabbits? Rabbi”

— PSIBUR, reddit.com

“Outsiders develop humor as a defense; why do you think most comedians are gay or Jewish?”

— Paul Lynde, books.google.com

“All children are miracles, but my sister and I and other children of survivors were not supposed to have ever existed. We had a special obligation (like it or not, and many do not) to make good use of our lives and to be proud Jews and grateful Americans.”

— Edna Friedberg, theatlantic.com