“If anybody is going to sit on Ryan Gosling's face it's going to be me.”Tagged: Funny, TV Shows, Moms
“This is not the energy I wanted to start my vision quest with.”Tagged: Funny, TV Shows, Moms, Drugs, Psychodelica
“Have you ever wondered if Ben and Jerry make more than ice cream together?”Tagged: Funny, TV Shows, Moms
“Tim: There's two different types of pain. Pain and man pain. Mark: What's man pain? Tim: Man pain is when you do something stupid.”Tagged: Pain, Man Pain
“Tim: I didn't bug you during childbirth. Jill: No, but you bugged me during conception.”Tagged: Man-bashing, Childbirth, Conception
“Randy: Did you rebel against your father? Tim: He died before I could be a real jerk. Randy: He'd be proud if he could see you now.”Tagged: rebel, Jerk
“Randy: My dad's been in the hospital so much they gave him a preferred customer card. Tim: Yeah, one more head injury and we win a trip to Hawaii.”Tagged: hospital, head injury
“I lost both my virginities in this house, it's my house.”Tagged: Virginity, Lost My Virginity, My House, Memories, Possession
“If you're going into the kitchen could you get me two whiskey sours? One for each hand.”Tagged: Funny, Mom, TV Shows, Drinking
“Grace: You are in need of some serious cheering up. Frankie: I'm not without cheer. I'm a little down. It's an honest down, and since you are so up, there's a homeostatic balance.”Tagged: Cheering Up, A Little Down, Homeostatic Balance, Sad Times, Pick Me Up
“I gained another pound today. But I think it's a pound of knowledge.”Tagged: Gaining Weight, Gaining Weight Wisdom
“I gained another pound today. But I think it's a pound of knowledge.”Tagged: Funny, Drugs, Mom, TV Shows
“Why would you yell at a golden retriever? They're like living hugs!”Tagged: Golden Retriever, hugs, sweet, Kind, Warm
“Robert: I mean, what if we'll never be able to be happy because our entire relationship was based on lies and betrayals so awful that karmically we're doomed? Sol: Wow, you're more Jewish than I am. Robert: Well, we Catholics know our way around guilt, too.”Tagged: Guilt, Karma, Happiness, Lies, Betrayal