Quotes tagged ‘joke’

(331 total)

“Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? They need a place to put their legs.”

“What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic? They know how many went down on the Titanic.”

“What job did the M&M factory give to the blonde? Proofreading. Why did she get fired? Throwing out all the W's.”

“Two blondes are stuck in a burning apartment on the 30th floor on the balcony. They're both screaming for help one after another, to no avail... Then one of the blondes says i don't think anyone can hear us.. maybe if we scream together, we'll be louder and we'll get saved! They both start yelling,…”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“Blonde: 'What does IDK stand for?' Brunette: 'I don’t know.' Blonde: 'OMG, nobody does!'”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“A dumb blonde, a smart blonde, and Santa Clause are allegedly seen walking down the street together. They come across a 20 dollar bill on the ground. Which one picks it up? The dumb blonde, because the other two don't exist.”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“What is the difference between a blonde and a man? A blonde has a higher sperm count.”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“Why can't a blonde dial 911? She can't find the eleven.”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family…”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“How do blonde brain cells die? Alone.”

— Reddit, reddit.com

“What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? 'I hope it's mine.'”

— Reddit, reddit.com