(331 total)
“A blonde was pulled over for speeding by a blonde cop and was asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, 'What does a driver's license look like?' Irritated, the blonde cop said, 'You dummy, it's got y…”
— Reddit, reddit.com
“A blonde woman gets onto an elevator and she says to the man on the elevator 'T.G.I.F' The man replies 'S.H.I.T.' She furrows her brow and repeats 'T.G.I.F.' The man replies once again 'S.H.I.T.' The blonde says 'T.G.I.F.--Thank God it's Friday!' The man says 'S.H.I.T.--Sorry Honey, it's Thursday!'”
— Reddit, reddit.com
“A brunette comes home one day and saw her blonde roommate hanging from the ceiling by her waist. The brunette said 'What are you doing?' The blonde replies 'Hanging myself, I'm done with life, and want to die.' The brunette says back 'Wouldn't you put the rope around your neck?' The blonde replies '…”
— Reddit, reddit.com
“On a flight to L.A., a blonde leaves her seat in coach and goes and sits in first class. When the stewardess tells her she has to return to her seat, the blonde says 'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm staying right here until we reach L.A.'. The stewardess talks to the flight crew, so the co-pilot…”
— Reddit, reddit.com
“A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. 'Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?' The blonde…”
— Reddit, reddit.com
“Two blondes are walking through the woods and come across some tracks. Blonde #1: Awww how cute, deer tracks. Blonde #2: Those are wolf tracks stupid! Blonde #1: NO, my dad taught me about this, These are deer tracks! They keep arguing and 20 minutes later they get hit by a train.”
— Reddit, reddit.com
“Blonde, brunette, and redhead in the gyno's office. All three are pregnant. The brunette says she's sure she's having a boy, because when she got pregnant her husband was on top. The redhead says in that case, she figures she's having a girl, because when she got pregnant she was on top. The blonde…”
— Reddit, reddit.com
“A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on an island a moderate distance from shore. The brunette tries to swim back, gets tired a quarter of the way there and heads back to the island. The redhead tries to swim back, gets tired a third of the way there and also heads back. The blonde gets hal…”
— Reddit, reddit.com
“A blonde a brunette and a redhead are on an elevator when a good looking man gets on. He gets off at the next floor. Having noticed his dandruff, the redhead says to the brunette, 'He could use some head and shoulders.' Looking confused, the blonde asks, 'How do you give a guy shoulders?'”
— Reddit, reddit.com