Quotes tagged ‘Sex Tweets’

(50 total)

“Whenever you're feeling down, remember, you're the sperm that won.”

“You know what's hot???? Consistent communication.”

“Let's make a pretty quilt together and then have sex on top of it.”

“[during sex] Do you have anything to eat?”

“I’m waiting for them to invent a pleasure robot that’s so lifelike, it won’t have sex with me.”

“Callin a girl a hoe cuz y'all had sex on the first date like robbin a bank with ya friend then callin him a thief.”

“Bitches be telling the dude to go deeper while having sex. Now if he could, he would. You don't hear him yelling tighter, tighter.”

“*Havin sex w/ buzzfeed employee* Me: I'm gonna cum. Buzzfeed employee: Here are 16 other things that will make you cum, you won't believe #9.”

“He had that "I gotta sneeze" face the whole time we were having sex!”

“My sex tape is a Vine.”

“I can't have sex with a pregnant bitch the baby gonna grab my dick or something.”

“Get on his dick, not his nerves.”

“I felt no earth shaking during the Oklahoma earthquake tonight. Ummmm, not much different then my sex life.”

“Moooanday, tongueday, wetday, thirstday, freakday, sexday, suckday.”

“Good sex is when you can remember every position 5 months later.”

“If sex for girls feels anything like cleaning your ears with a Q-tip then I can;t blame females for being hoes”

“Age is just a number you write into a box when you register as a sex offender.”

“Birth Control Pills should be for men. It makes much more sense to unload a gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.”

“Sex? Nah, life fucks me everyday.”

“If Hillary Clinton wins tomorrow it will be the first time in American history that two presidents have had sex with each other.”